Neuro Diversity

Don’t judge….

You must think I cannot hear you,
You must think I cannot see,
But I am just a mum, of a child with ADHD.
You think you could parent him better,
That you could “sort him out”,
That it’s discipline he’s lacking,
And he just needs a good clout,
You do not understand or know him,
But yet you stand there and judge,
I take a deep breath and smile at you,
And hold not a grudge,
I’ve built up broad shoulders,
Become stronger than I ever thought I could,
Not a choice I consciously made,
Its what I’ve done for love.
My child may be impulsive,
Loud and always on the go,
But there is so much more amazingness to him,
That I would love for you to know.
He doesn’t have a filter,
Or a mechanism to make him stop and think,
But It’s not his choice to behave that way,
His brains messages’ are on the blink.
He pretends to you he’s big and tough,
Causing him at times to be too rough,
To hide the hurt he keeps inside,
You don’t have to hear him cry or find he’s googled ways to die.
ADHD isn’t something made up,
To excuse behaviour or a parenting mess up,
It’s months of countless tests and appointments,
And lots of despair,
Meetings with professionals that can get to much to bare.
It breaks my heart when he cries, and asks “why me? Why can’t I be ‘normal’ and then I’ll be happy?”
He just wants to fit in,
And hates standing out,
But I tell him, “your special,
That’s what ADHD is all about,”
Don’t you think he’s aware of the things he does wrong?
And understand his class clown act, is him trying to belong?
There’s no one I know that punishes themselves more,
I don’t want him to feel that ADHD is a flaw.
You don’t see the struggles that he daily has to face,
The world to him is a heightened challenging place.
He is incredibly clever,
And so desperate for you to see,
But the sensory overload just won’t leave him be.
He has the biggest heart, and the fastest brain,
That just takes more time, nurture and understanding to train.
It’s a disability he lives with,
Just one you can’t see,
Making your lack of empathy so unjustified to me.

Tracey Loxam

Hello Tracey,

Thank you very much for sharing such a powerful poem with the CW Podcast Forum! I was struck by the poignant message behind the work, and the way the speaker addresses that condemning gaze. I found the length of the piece fascinating, almost as if we have to keep pace with the speaker’s thoughts whilst they uncover the emotions which accompany their journey. Would you feel comfortable to discuss your process of writing? Did you return to this particular piece over time, or was it written during one sitting?

Best Wishes,
Hollie