Musin – Ben Michaels

MUSIN

Pushkin is looking at me in the mirror, unruly curly hair, like mine - a young man making sense and finding beauty.

When you find resemblance - something of yourself - you can begin to understand it all, to move in this world, to write.

Pushkin’s life was so much messier, ballsier than his perfect words - the act of poetry let him rise above it all and turn it into something human,

Which is I think what we need today - as the image of a shelled shopping centre hits our screens - senseless, featureless

Faces discarded into oblivion, trying to relate.

Pushkin wrote that lack of respect for one’s ancestors was the first sign of barbarism

Which has got me thinking about mine, some of whom came from that same part of the world

Fleeing pogroms, across continents, vital journeys- to a new life, twenty children, to me.

I can imagine myself face to face - learning of their own anxieties, frustrations, hopes - and searching their eyes (same eyes as mine) for some kind of map,

Where do I see myself a year from now?

I’m swiping through these potential futures, pasts, faces.

I could’ve been him - my great-grandfather, someone’s lover, a poet

Or those young soldiers, maybe inexperienced, going to fight, conscripted into a life bigger than themselves, which they didn’t choose.

They’d have written poetry too - believed in freedom, dated, fantasised - found a way to make sense of being young.

Whether its Pushkin or a Kalashnikov in your hand, you find a way

(I’m waiting at the airport arrivals gate while thinking about this) to see how much is human and inspiring in this rushing crowd, and to write fluently.

Hello Ben,

Thank you for another brilliant contribution!

The way you explore the process of the poet and the influence of experience on writing is haunting. The idea of resemblance as a means of recognizing the emotion of others is moving. The sense of hope through understanding and personal growth in the opening lines was striking, particularly when re-reading the final lines!

Hi Hollie – thanks so much for those really kind, preceptive, and useful comments. Its great to be able to contribute something to this exciting forum, and I hope it relates with a few readers. I wrote it thinking abut the commonwealth/life in general from a youth perspective.
It is so helpful to hear what people think of your writing – so thank you again!